When I Don’t “do”

It’s been three months now. Every Tuesday, between 6pm and 7.30pm, the world stops speeding. Even time seems to hold its breath.

My Chinese painting teacher is not tall. His studio space is large. But the whole space is filled with his presence.

We barely use words. Or they do not have the usual meanings.
The room is often filled with silence, even when he speaks.

And that embodied silence feels good.

It’s the silence I find in Chinese painting and in Japanese gardens,
It’s the peace I find when I stare at my one bare wall.
It’s when I sit and don’t feel guilty about it.
It’s when I observe life passing by at my coffee shop.
It’s when I look outside the window when I’m in the bus.
It’s the space I find inside when I don’t engage in my thoughts.
It’s the silent voice that guided me to Ħaġar Qim last week.
It’s when I feel that nothing is missing.

And that space showed up in my paintings…

It’s the negative space I have been cultivating in my recent paintings without being fully aware of it.
It’s the minimum brush marks to capture the essence of my friend.
It’s the feminine energy that showed up in my Women series.

And now I understand…

The actual work happens

whenever

I’m not actively

doing the work…